Disease is an Invitation Toward Alignment with Destiny

To be alive is an utterly bizarre, amazing, and magical fate, to be born into this world, to breathe air deeply and walk upon the soil, to all of a sudden unite spirit with body and enter existence, to open eyes for the first time and see what there is to see, to hear, to taste, to feel life. Some sort of sense must be made of this world in which we find ourselves; what is this experience that is being experienced and what am I, what is not I, how do I fit in, how do I relate and interact. But above the rest, how do I feel the love, the warmth and light filling the world with connection and meaning, that which illuminates all the corners of reality, and how does my own unique warmth and light touch the world around me, in essence, how to navigate existence.

This process of sorting and associating meaning goes hand in hand with worldly conditioning; layers upon layers of experience accumulate and cloud raw undiluted perception as more and more beliefs, accepted truths, and stories of who I perceive myself to be filter the world that is being experienced. Culture, society, and every little detail flows in and colors the world, which, in turn creates a sense of home and stability. This groundedness is a manifestation of the earth element, upon which all the rest of life unfolds; but these supposedly unshakable foundations are simply projections of values, attachments which we assign to all things, and comfort is found in the depth of our entwined web of stories. We quickly become attached to our stories instead of simply being aware and curious to explore the present moment in all that it holds, to be in the wholeness of now, ever navigating the river of consciousness, upon the vessel that is a body. These associations create a structure that allows us to relate and respond to the world, they are necessary in order to engage in complex and dynamic ways. But, does life exist beyond my perception? My truth, my story is what illuminates the world, the story I fully believe is the story that is true as far as I can tell.

The way in which this worldly conditioning is held and used may lead to a dis-eased state. Health is a continual dynamic meeting of consciousness with the present moment, met with gratitude and curiosity. Disease exists when we are no longer orienting towards health; in health, we may instead be ever adapting and responding to life through being rooted and aware of one’s original nature, a primordial truth that transcends the clouded filter of worldly conditioning. All of life, all of presence and truth, all of love, and all of God is flow, movement, the process of creation experiencing itself through the cycles, through the ten thousand things, through you and I. Stagnation is in opposition to health; it is something which blocks the free flow of energy, it impedes this responsive presence towards the unfolding moment by separating one from orienting from original nature, from being rooted in truth. Stagnation separates us from the wholeness of who we are at all times, we are each a unique combination of consciousness coalesced into this body and spirit, we are but a unique vibration of creation which is able to be isolated and named as me, I, I am. 

This health is always there for us to remember if we so choose, and so perhaps the role of the practitioner is to guide patients to first become aware of these stagnations, and then facilitate the opportunity to resolve them so that one may be in closer contact with source by living with more presence, love, and authenticity. I feel this is the art of being in service to the world as a healthcare provider. These stagnations occur when something is beyond one’s capacity to understand, accept, assimilate, and associate to within our constructed understanding of reality, it is something that creates a schism between original nature, something that develops ego, and the ego is the collection of the stories we hold true. As each new perceived truth is created, another filter modifies pure experience. And yet the stagnations become a part of the continuum that are our stories, of what I associate with, a reflection of myself, they become integrated into what I believe is, and thus what is possible and not possible to change or bend. 

We become informed of these blockages that impede life’s expression in many ways and the universe speaks clearly to those who listen. There are clues and guidance such as pain, prolonged and intense emotions being opportunities to change, feedback of the state of things which are currently preventing the ability to understand why we feel we are in disharmony. We forget, all we know is the story, it feels so real, we misplace our agency to choose the story, we unknowingly give away our power when we forget that life truly has no expectations, there is no set way it is supposed to be, who makes the rules we should ask. Stagnations and disease persist by incorrectly orienting ourselves to life through the comparison of the ‘other’, the outside context that is supposed to be a certain way. When we no longer exist in the way we once did, instead now in disease, we feel there is no choice, that either I am broken or the world around me is flawed and thus one comes to an impasse. However, when life has no expectations and we constantly are perceiving life as it is currently unfolding, we may remake our stories, we may shed that which no longer serves the fulfillment of destiny, and instead venture forth in celebration of the gift of creation, orienting from gratitude for all that is. There is no reason that I am aware of which tells me life is supposed to be filled purely with joy and pleasure; it is the dynamic range of experience which makes life full and diverse and rich. The celebration of existence is available at any time, even in pain, though certainly easier said than done. 

Disease I believe, is thus an invitation to follow destiny and come into alignment, the not so silent guidance to walk a different path, one with intention and authenticity, though the easy path and the right path are often not the same. There is work and faith required to change courses and trust the unknown path which we must believe will take one where is needed, for we truly have no alternative. The unknown is just that, unknown, and all things that we believe we know are no more than comfortable mistruths, stories, little lights that give us comfort through the darkness of Winter. We must trust that Spring will return, and there is nothing we can do to speed nor slow this process, instead we bear witness to its unfolding, nothing more. We are offered an opportunity to learn how to listen, how to interpret the signs we are presented and navigate the river of life, to come into alignment and thus learn the things we are here to learn. It seems to be that we are offered guidance and opportunities continually, and if we don’t listen they often get louder and louder until they are difficult if not impossible to ignore, and if we don’t respond now, we are offered the call again and again, and again. Life patiently waits, it has no need nor agenda except to experience itself through its myriad of manifestations, all the articulations of creation. You can ignore the pain and disease and accept that story, you can hold on to it with an iron grip and let carry it you though the cold long night and live out your days, it is an available route. We often prefer pain, numbness, and mediocrity for it is known and comfortable, fear tethers us. The unknown is the limitless abyss of potentiality, and can be wielded with either darkness and fear, or, an overflowing cup of possibility; real value lies in the empty space within the container. “So advantage is had from whatever is there; but usefulness rises from whatever is not” (Tao Te Ching). Instead, you may listen, breathe, feel, and respond, then repeat. If we orient in these ways we may perhaps drop some of our stories of who we think we are and what this experience of life is, and continue to learn and grow from a more truthful perception of life, and maybe even have some fun while we’re at it. There is always more work to be done, it cannot be finished just as Sisyphus can attest to, that is not the point, so instead enjoy the ride while it lasts. At least, this is how a “quest” human sees it.

What is the purpose of living in these mortal human bodies? Why should we toil and work to ensure one is on a particular path? Death comes for us all, so what encourages this work if recycled we all become? Chinese medicine offers a view I deeply resonate with; the goal we strive for is a long life and the maintenance of vitality which both exist purely to beget the fulfillment of purpose. We must live out our days in health in order to realize destiny, it takes time and the application of willpower. Chinese medicine believes that the Kidneys hold one’s essence, a substance which we are endowed with as spirit and body unite upon conception. It is our own little allotment of potentiality, the valuable substance residing in the container that is the physical body; it is source energy condensed and coalesced into our own unique configuration, our constitution, the I in relation to all that is. Spirit on the other hand is less substantial, it is akin to fire and we each carry spirit inside, yet the flame cannot sustain without fuel. We eat and breathe and experience by the magic of spirit burning essence, and through this we are given the opportunity to live out destiny. This union is felt as the animating force that enables us to learn the things we are here to learn. Spirit consumes essence which mobilizes individual being, awareness emanates forth from the gate of destiny, the portal of the Kidneys, which holds essence. To be in alignment with destiny is thus to be continually orienting from original nature and endlessly meeting the present unfolding moment in all its glory. To live in accordance with original nature is to be in tune with the unique expression of creation as it expresses through each one of us. We each have gifts that no one else has, gifts that can never run out nor be taken away as they have been endowed into the fabric of our being. Perhaps the specific work we do is less important than we think; there are many ways of existing in this world of ours, but when we are in tune with our gifts, our unique expression of creation, then we are able to be in service to life, responding with gratitude and love. In this state, one’s gifts, one’s original nature becomes the chariot that carries us forth and allows us to engage healthfully with the world, a way in which to have faith in being while not reacting from layers of conditioning.

To be in health doesn’t mean that we don’t get sick nor occasionally have symptoms, but that we have the freedom to choose by referencing from a much larger context, to not be a servant to forces we perceive to be beyond our control. We offer healthcare not to remove discomfort, but to act as a channel for medicine that interacts with the intelligence of each unique being; we offer medicines that strike a note so that one in seeking may resonate with the sound and feel, release stories that no longer serve, and reorient to the dao. The art of medicine then becomes intention mixed with client receptivity to respond to this truth. And so we as practitioners have the opportunity to grow patient relationships that may improve receptivity, and by resolving our own stagnations we become more sensitive and more able to meet others where they are at in order to be in greater service, to give the most impactful and helpful guidance we can through the art of “non-action”, of WuWei. This work is done by being aware of our own suffering, to become clearer, more open, to feel stillness at one’s core, to be neutral in one’s presence, without conditioning getting in the way, to be profoundly non-judgmental. Once one is able to be with oneself, then one can meet another wherever they are, to self regulate, to have clarity, and to know what is mine and what is theirs.

We act as universal messenger of the dao, to deliver this vibratory note through authenticity and simple being, always remembering it is not we whom are doing the healing, we are simply conduits, beings unveiling the truth of what is already there, merely discovering. Medicine is something that illuminates darkness, a new orientation and we truly cannot know its full effects for the darkness shrouds perception; it is up to the wisdom and nature of the inherent intelligence of the health seeker to then respond to the information provided by the medicine. Let us not forget that medicines are much more than herbs and needles, sometimes the greatest medicine we can offer is to fully recognize and witness another being, to see their intrinsic health and strength, to realize their inner light, especially when they have lost sight of it themselves.

The experience of suffering comes in many forms, depression, confusion, trying to fit the mould of modern life, holding the weight of global pain, physical injuries, serious life changing diseases. All these experiences offer the practice of sensation, to feel the pain and the fear is to go inside and feel what there is to feel, to come to know it so it may be honestly perceived. My own healing journey has taken me around the world, to oh so many doctors, to the forest, to the distant cosmos, to my parent’s house twice, up down and all around, but I never left my story, wherever I went, there I was with all my attachments and expectations. The impact of my health challenges have forced me to stop and look around and reorient or persist in pain. Perhaps it has all been training in how to awaken, how to sit with discomfort, how to notice discomfort but still find stillness so that life may be felt fully and enjoyed with a smile, radiating gratitude. Challenging events provide fertile ground for embodying true self love, that it really isn’t just a matter of doing this step or getting that procedure or taking this magic pill, but rather a way of life, a choice. But damn it sure is challenging when one’s capacity to simply sit and be are compromised, to feel as if there is an infection of consciousness, a sensation of possession occluding one’s ability to meet the present moment, as if another spirit is in competition for one’s vessel. It’s hard to orient from love when you’re running on empty, just enough to get by isn’t enough to realize truth. I believe that what I do more than anything else is simply feel, and while trying to live my authentic path I’ve come to realize that through focus, practice, and entering a state of stillness I am able to listen with my whole being. It is possible to come into contact with a felt sense perception of God, of love, with the mysterious ordering forces of life through this perception, and in this witnessing allow held stagnations to become realized and shed if they no longer serve my purpose.

Be impeccable with your word, take care with thoughts, for the stories we tell ourselves determine the realities we accept. Sometimes conscious, though often unconscious, thoughts are the seeds of words, and words determine the energy and vibration of one’s being for they allow one’s reflection of life to express. Be aware and be particular about how you spend your precious essence.

When people don’t act with love in their hearts it’s because they are accepting lies as reality. They choose knowledge over love, they accept the story they are being told as true, they fail to fully believe that they are the storyteller. So be kind and have compassion for those who are unkind for they are trapped in a formless prison of their own creation. Often separation from the flow state occurs when we make assumptions about someone else’s story, we operate on the notions that these assumptions are truths and don’t stop to ask questions or get clarity to be able to see things as they do, so much conflict unfolds this way. 

When we consider the elements, the earth phase holds everything together, it harmonizes imbalances, allows for stability no matter what is going on, it moderates and facilitates transitions. It allows for smooth movement through rapid change; we must have adequate substance in our vessels to tolerate the sway, fertile soil providing home for deep roots, and earth is eroded by excessive change. Nourishing the earth phase engenders becoming strong enough to handle large amounts of rapid change. The earth of our society is being profoundly strained by the rate of change around us all the time. Rapid change is how we learn quickly, but we have to have strong earth in order to process and respond with it. 

Rigidity of perspectives tends to come with being stuck in earth, just like mud. By nourishing earth with someone who sees things differently, we become more open to finding shared ground, or at least understanding the other’s perspective. Through sufficiently strong earth, we can disagree without demonization, we can feel all of this world, take it in, digest it, make sense of it, and not get stuck in stories that are not true because we know we are safe. We know that we have enough stores of food to last the Winter, we have done our work and prepared. Community is strong, a vast web of connection has been cast through the whole year by continually being present and doing what needs doing before the darkness, and now we can rest assured in the strength of the earth inside us, sink our toes deep into the bare ground and breathe for we are unshakable in our self truth, there is peace and stillness in our hearts.

By the art of navigating life rooted in authenticity, love, and curiosity, I aspire to the daoist concept of WuWei, of non-action, of not needing to try so hard just to be, of the unfolding of my life orienting from my original nature, my gifts harnessed into service of life. I intend to be an open and patient invitation to others to lay down some of their stories, held traumas, and protection strategies when they feel that it is safe to do so, to offer healing through resonance and celebration. It’s your story, why exist in heaven with a perfect vessel of creation if you don’t enjoy and love it to the greatest potential. Choose destiny now or choose destiny later, it’ll be there waiting for you whenever you are ready.